Couples can easily get wrapped up in each other, the kids, work, colleagues, friends – the list is endless. However, remember whenever you can that your most important relationship you can have is with yourself. With so many people and obligations tugging at you, make sure you set time aside regularly to spend – with yourself, alone.
How you do this is up to you, but here are some possibilities:
- Resurrect an old hobby, or cultivate a new one
Schedule a time on a weekly or at least monthly basis where you can resurrect an old hobby you once enjoyed, or start a new one. It could be a Saturday writing class at the local community college, or a session of hot yoga at the local health club. Think back to what you liked to do before you became “a couple” with your spouse, and reconnect with your old self once again.
Is there something you’ve always wanted do that you’ve never had the guts to try? Now’s the time. (If it’s something that requires significant physical exertion, make sure that you get clearance from your doctor first, if you haven’t been physically active.) Leave the kids with the babysitter or with your spouse, and spend a few hours just getting to know you again.
- Go back to school
While going back to school may conjure up visions of struggling through a full-time semester while you try to work and take care the kids at the same time, it doesn’t necessarily have to be like that. You can start by going back to school with just one class, to see if you’d like to pursue a new or expanded career path; was there a dream career aspiration you left behind at some point, either because kids came along or because some other detour happened? It’s never too late. You can start with just one class, to see if you like it, and then add more as you go. And if you’ve been to college before, it’s likely that your second time through won’t take as long; many credits may transfer so that you don’t have to repeat old studies.
- Start meditating
This is one of the easiest ways to reconnect with yourself. Although you can study meditation formally, you can also simply get started on your own, simply by doing some research on the Internet first. At its essence, meditation is simply “being still.” Start with five minutes of sitting quietly and listening to your breath. Concentrate on slowly breathing in, and breathing out, breathing in, and breathing out. All you need is a quiet room with no distractions, and a comfortable chair to relax into. Alternatively, you can also simply lie on the floor or bed. You get ready simply by getting as comfortable as possible: you shouldn’t be hungry, thirsty, need to go to the bathroom, etc. Take care of all of that, and you’re ready to go.
You’ll find, by the way, that your mind will be very distracting, with all of its chatter, when you first begin. Don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t try to quiet your mind too much. Simply focus on your breath. You’ll be surprised at how peaceful you’ll begin to feel in just a short period of time. Once you are reconnect with yourself, you will notice that everything in life become easier and easily achievable like your relationship, work etc. You will stay in love or fall in love with your spouse again.
Related articles
- 7 Reasons You Don’t Meditate, Even Though You Know You Should (mindmindful.wordpress.com)
- The Practice of Mindfulness (chakralivingroomaz.com)
- MIND AND HEALTH Relax your mind and focus (tech.mit.edu)
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